Single, Sarcastic, and Spectacular in FL

A 20-something grad student's rants about life and finding a man.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The In-law's In-laws

My family and I are headed out to Arizona for a few days before Christmas. My brother-in-law's sister is graduating from college and we have never been out there, so we're going. The bad thing is, my brother-in-law can't be there because he's in Iraq right now. The stupid gay army! Seriously, guys, if you don't have any experience with the military, they run it like a freaking circus! He was called back in after being out for a year and a half, after serving four years, and just when he and my sister were trying for a baby. He decided to get out because of all the stupid stuff they put him through and then they called him back and there was nothing he could do (besides maybe move to Mexico). Anyway, we are flying out there today to be with his family but we're going to stop in Texas for one night tonight and then go the rest of the way tomorrow. We're flying in a small plane, so the entire flight takes about 8 hours. I have my computer, and my mom's computer (she just does crossword puzzles and reads magazines) and I'm going to watch Seasons 1, 2, and 3 of The Office on DVD on the way out there. I have probably seen all of them and repeated some as well, but it's still the most hilarious thing on t.v. (besides maybe Family Guy)! If I get tired of The Office, I'll probably take some NyQuil and call it a day.

It will probably be a little awkward out there in AZ because as I have alluded to before, my mom has some social anxiety issues and also my bro-in-law's mom is a little strange, but overall I think we will have a fun time. Plus, I will get to see some snow AND go shopping AND play with babies (they have a few in their family and we have none in ours). His family has come here to Florida two or three times, I think. Once for the wedding three years ago, once to visit and another time to contemplate moving here because the job market out there sucked. The dad is super nice but the older brother is a complete mess and the two younger siblings resemble Stepford children a little. Suffice it to say, my sarcasm will have to be on hold while I'm out there or they may just think I have completely gone off my rocker. I will have to be labeled the "quiet child" of my earlier days which I hate!! Plus, all they really know to ask me about is school and as you can tell from my earlier post below, I'm not really in the mood to talk about that right now, even though I am going back next semester (thank goodness!). I'll try to tough it out. I may carry a small flask in my purse, though, just in case.

We're getting back the 23rd and I'm not sure if I will be able to steal a minute to myself out there to blog, but when I return, I'm sure I will have some hilarious stories to tell!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Smiling's my favorite...usually

I watched Elf last night. Can you tell?

Well, my life is over. Seriously. I failed ANOTHER class in grad school, and without giving too much away, in the profession I'm going into, THIS IS A BIG DEAL. So, I'm stuck waiting to see whether or not I will be kicked out. And, honestly, I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, OBVIOUSLY I feel like a failure, but on top of that, I wonder whether I can cut it for the rest of the 2-3 years I have left. I have just run out of motivation for school and I need to get it back! I SO want to succeed but I am also a person that likes to live in the moment more than thinking about how great life will be 3 years from now when I have my degree and a job making MONEY. The committee will meet and let me know in about a week. Until then, I will be floating through life trying not to think about how my world would be turned upside down and inside out if I am no longer able to continue down this path. Would I have to move back home? Could I apply to another school here? What would I tell people? Why do I care so much what people think? Is this the career I still want to pursue? I'm such an idiot! What will I do for money? How will I ever pay my parents back for what all they've invested in my grad school so far?

Now, to my parents. They are THE BEST PARENTS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! When I called my dad today to tell him, the first thing he said was that he and my mom were ALWAYS proud of me no matter what, that he loved me, and when I started crying, he told me that he was going to drive the 9 HOURS to see me tonight because he didn't want me to be alone (even though I have been with friends all week) and that he was going to do everything in his power to keep me from getting kicked out. And then he asked me yet again if this was really what I wanted to do and he made me assure him that I wasn't doing any of this just to please him because he would be happy with me if I was a teacher, a baker, a candlestick maker, or (anything, probably as long as it didn't involve getting money for sexual favors or something, I'm guessing). And that made me cry even more.

I guess I'll know if I need to pull out my magic 8 ball and make some major life decisions in about 7 more days. Wish me luck.

I love my parents. Thank you for being my mom and dad, Mom and Dad!

P.S. They don't read this blog, obviously, but they still need to get props!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

"It's a Christmas Miracle" Wish List

Tawny Lawns Handbag
Okay, so there is no way that I'm getting this $250 bag, but I can wish, can't I? In fact, the only thing I might get for Christmas on this list is the pajama pants!

Le Creuset Crock aka Big Pot
Found here:
I have always wanted one of these big professional pots that you can take from the stove top to the oven (who needs to do that anyway??) but they are always so damn expensive...again, *wish* list.

Beanbag Chair
Found here:
Umm, hello? Who doesn't need a beanbag chair? They're comfortable, stylish, squishy, toxic if you eat the little balls...okay, shut-up!

Keurig Coffee/Tea/Happy-Maker
Found here:
Oh my goodness! My sister has one of these and when I stayed at her house over Thanksgiving I must have had four to five cups of coffee and tea every day! They are so easy to use and more sanitary than the teapot I keep on the stove all the time with old water in it. But alas, they are $150 so I will probably try to just steal my sister's with some covert ops when I'm home. She may become wise to my plan though...hmmm

Doggy pajama pants
Found here:
Well, even though I haven't touched on the puppy subject in my blog yet, I love dogs and I used to have a dachshund puppy of my own. I also spent my entire childhood with one dachshund or another in the house, so it's only natural for me to want p.j.'s with what you unknowing folks may call "wiener dogs" on them. wiener. haha. I'm 4.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Movies make me happy

Don't get me wrong, I can't get the smile off my face when I'm swinging at the park or lying on the beach when the breeze is blowing just right, but watching certain movies make me really, ridiculously happy and hopeful.

P.S. I Love You is one the best recent movies. It is so inspiring in that no matter what happens, you can always find love again. And I know this is corny, but I've been seeing those Jane Seymour commercials a lot lately for Kay jewelers and her "open-hearts" collection. The slogan is something like, "If your heart is always open, it can never be broken." I love that! But, then again, I'm a sucker for any phrase like that. I must have 10 different tags from my favorite Good Earth Black Chai Tea bags on my fridge. They have the best sayings! A lot of them are funny too, like Babe Ruth, "The only superstition I have is to touch each of the bases when I make a home-run." I can't get enough. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I open them and make the tea (knowing full well that I don't want any) just to read those sayings. So, I went online to try and find one of those open-heart necklaces and they were sold out of the sterling silver one I wanted! Ugh...I was going to tell my sister to get it for me for Christmas because she never has good ideas for gifts to buy me and I was going to help her out. Now, all they have left are the diamond ones, which I don't really like, for about $200 apiece. Maybe I can find one on ebay or something. Or, I can just keep the slogan as a mantra and live without the necklace, but that is probably not a good idea because of my need for concrete reminders and "things" in my life.

Another movie that ALWAYS makes me happy is Love Actually. How could it not? It's the perfect movie. AND Serendipity AND How the Grinch Stole Christmas AND as far as comedies go, Wedding Crashers is pretty much at the top of my list. Hmm...I'm noticing a lot of these have Christmasy themes, so I guess Christmas makes me happy too.

My dad is coming to visit me tomorrow (without my mom) which I'm excited about. I just saw my family last week for Thanksgiving, but we are a very close family and they call me every day and tell me how much they miss me, so I don't care if they want to come see my every week. I'll take whatever unconditional love I can get! Plus, my mom can get a little weird after a few days of being around her, so I'm glad my dad and I get some alone time.

Christmas countdown: 18 days (dammit, I should have made one of those construction paper chains like we had as a kid)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Here are my plans for today:
  • Figure out what that bad smell in my apartment is
  • CLEAN my apartment
  • Go to the beach (yes, folks, it's 82 degrees here)
  • Study (argg...)
  • Stick to my diet
  • Go to church
  • Go to my school's holiday musical (if those two don't interfere with each other)

On another note, this economy is really killing my shopping buzz. I used to go shopping to blow off steam after an exam or just to make myself feel better when I was lonely or depressed. NOW, since I don't have so much disposable money (none, actually), I am forced to do other things and going to the park or the puppy store is fun, but just not AS fun as going and buying loads of make-up from Sephora or ULTA. Also, I'm still having a hard time finding someone good (and reasonably-priced) to do my hair. The guy I used to go to moved salons to a high-end spa where they insist on including a huge tip in the price, and the girl I went to the last two times cut my bangs way too short and I just wasn't happy when I left, so she gets the boot too. I think I will wait until I go home for Christmas and go to one of my old standbys that I went to in high school. Hopefully their prices aren't as outrageous as here in SoFL.

Now, off to the beach. It's okay to be jealous.

Friday, December 5, 2008

So, I think I have figured out what's going on.

I'm pretty sure my neighbors have a LARGE drum set and that they play it AROUND THE CLOCK! At first I thought someone was just cooking all the time and constantly needing to pound out their chicken and put their big heavy dishes away, then it occurred to me that nobody could cook for that long (or that loud). That's when I heard the cymbal, one night when I was lying in bed. That's when I knew...drum set! AHHHHH!

It's getting really bad and I am normally not a confrontational person, but I have been getting woken up by it and I have been having migraines (which I never used to have) and I'm sick of it!

There is only one problem. I don't know which neighbor it is. I have neighbors to either side of me, above me, and behind me. I think I can rule out the two girls who live next to me and the grandmas that live on the other side. Also, I have met the girl upstairs but not her roommate and they could very well have the drums. But, I think most likely it is the people who live behind me. I am not positive, but I think it's a couple of dudes who are my age, so bingo!

Now, how to approach them about it. Should I go over there at 2 in the morning one time to make it more dramatic, like, you are ruining my sleep! Or, should I get all cute and go over there and be like, umm, hi, would you mind pleeease not playing those drums so loud? They hurt my cute little ears? Or should I just leave a note for them, cowardly, and hope that they take it seriously when I say, I'm calling the cops if this continues??

I'm sorry, I know this is a lame post but I can only write about what is in my head and I have played about 100 scenarios out in my head about how I would approach those bastard-drumming-cotton-headed-ninny-muggins!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


Did anyone watch the Britney Spears special this weekend on MTV? I didn't even know about it until I went over to a friend's house and they were recording it. I saw it on Monday night because MTV was replaying it about every 3 hours. I really haven't been keeping up with what Britney is doing lately because I haven't bought any of the tabloid magazines in probably a year now. It's not that my celebrity curiosity gene has left me, I just get my news from the t.v. and the internet and I only read the interesting stories that catch my eye. If there's an arrest involved or a new pregnancy rumor, I'm interested.

As I was watching the Britney thing, I just kept thinking how happy I was that she agreed to talk to the film crew and let them follow her around. That is my favorite kind of t.v.! It's most likely the reason that Jon and Kate Plus 8 is one of my favorite shows. I love the real-life situations, without all the stupid stuff like The Bachelor does. I just want to see what really goes on!

It wasn't like they showed a whole lot of what Britney does behind closed doors, and the dancing time in the studio was a little boring to me, but overall it was good. I felt really sorry for her. She seemed so sad throughout the whole show. And her dad is a little much! I'm from the south, so I'm not going to make fun of his outfits or his voice, but at one point he said something to Britney and when she walked away he said under his breath, "G** Damn kids!" Hello! Even if he was kind of kidding, that's a really good influence for her or his two grandkids. I don't think my dad would ever curse my existence!

Anyway, I selfishly took away from the show the fact that I shouldn't feel so bad about my own life and that while I worry about someone I know seeing me at the grocery store with no make-up, Britney can't walk out in her backyard without people seeing her and taking pictures of her without make-up. Granted, she looks much better than me, but still.
I'm feeling much better.
I passed my first final.
It smells great in my house since I bought one of those cinnamon brooms to put in the corner. (I know I'm a grandma, people tell me that all the time)
There are Christmas movies on t.v. around-the-clock now.
I've lost about 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks, even though I still have at least 10 more to go.
I recommend Australia and 4 Christmases to you movie-goers.
Continuing with the theme of the post, I may go see Britney here in March. I do want to support her and the last time I saw her was at the Oops I Did it Again tour when I was in the 8th grade.